Marluxia's beginning
by CheshireCatwoman
Summary: Lumaria is a rose from Wonderland who gets turned into a nobody along with Dulor, a card soldier. Watch as this nice rose turns into the badass Graceful Assassin! Rated for language and light violence. *EDIT* OVER 1,000 HITS! THANKS GUYS!
1. Painting the Roses Red

Disclaimer for the whole story: I don't own KH or Alice in Wonderland.

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I awoke one morning to a group of card soldiers singing a song I didn't know at the time, but I would soon learn to dread it.

"We're painting the roses red, we're painting the roses red, we dare not stop or waste a drop, so let the paint be spread, we're painting the roses REEEED!" While I was still groggy and unaware of my surroundings I was rudely slapped in the blossom by a sudden splash of red paint on my beautiful white petals. I mean, come on- RED paint?! I glared at the card soldier who was responsible- Dulor, who stood in front of me with a bucket of red paint and a brush.

"Sorry mate, but I have to do it. Otherwise the Queen will take our heads," he told me apologetically. I was not quick to forgive him.

I watched as the paint slowly dripped on my leaves. The paint felt uncomfortable and unnatural. "And why, may I ask, does the Queen want you to paint us all red?" I asked irritably. I knew just as well as any of them how mentally unstable the Queen was, and that it was likely that she had no logical reason for her orders, but I was still angry at Dulor.

"Well, you see," he started awkwardly, "we were supposed to plant the red roses, but we accidentally planted the white ones. If the Queen finds out she'll take our heads," he finished.

"Well, it's great to know that I was a mistake," I fumed.

"Hey, sorry mate, I'm just trying to keep everyone alive. Besides, I bet the Queen would kill you just for being the wrong color."

"After she kills you for planting the wrong roses," I retorted. The paint was starting to dry and it was chafing my petals. I wanted it off as soon as possible. I hoped beyond hope that it would rain. After my comrades were also painted, Dulor stood back to admire his work. I looked around at the other roses and saw it for what it was- a tragedy. My friends were all moaning and crying from the mutual discomfort. The red paint on our white petals gave an ominous aura, like the blood of a child on a wedding dress. I couldn't help but feel that it might've been a warning of a massacre in the immediate future. I shook it off quickly with no idea of how accurate I was.

We heard the familiar trumpets announcing the arrival of the Queen. Dulor and the other card soldiers fumbled as they tried to hide the paint cans and brushes. When the Queen arrived, the soldiers stood at attention. I only did as much as a flower could do, which was to hold still and try not to think about the paint dripping down my stem. After the Queen addressed her soldiers, something caught her eye. It was a paint can that was sticking out from behind a certain group of roses. And it couldn't be just any group, no, it just _had_ to be mine. She approached us and grabbed the can, shaking it in the air. She didn't seem to notice that some of the paint was splashing her dress as she waved it around.

"Red paint…RED PAINT?!" The Queen shouted as she threw the bucket on the ground. _Aw shit_, _she's gonna have a tantrum…heads are gonna roll_, I thought, secretly hoping that Dulor would be on the list. She started examining the flowers, and she stopped at _me_. She just had to stop at _me_. I looked at the card soldiers who were shaking with fear behind her, but my attention was immediately focused on the terrifying Queen towering in front of me. She was absolutely horrifying. Not only was there the possibility of dying on the spot due to her sporadic tantrums, but she wasn't exactly easy on the eyes. Not that I _had_ eyes, but still…I trembled at her sight as she loomed over me, blocking out the sun. She ran her fat finger on the underside of my petals, exposing a small portion of the original white. I had never felt so degraded in my life- first the paint, then the touch of the Queen shudders. I don't even want to think about that. I had nightmares for weeks. She stood up to her full height and glared at me, looking ready to squash her large foot down on me and end my life. Instead she spun around to the card soldiers.

"WHO'S BEEN PAINTING MY ROSES RED?!" she shrieked. The card soldiers were shaking with so much fear. I almost felt sorry for them. Key word, almost. They started pointing at each other, then they singled out Dulor. As he was thrust before our unforgiving Queen, she gave a low chuckle, ready to give the word. He trembled as he bowed low before her, preparing for the worst.

"OOOOOOFFFF WITH HIS HEAD!" she yelled. It truly was frightening, seeing her at this climax of her power. That had to have been her favorite expression, as she used it so frequently and with so much excitement I thought she was having an orgasm. Dulor looked up at her with more fear in his eyes than I would've wished on the poor fellow. The Queen looked down on him, and her own personal power almost killed him where he whimpered. The executioner was immediately brought out and was ready to swing the axe down on poor Dulor's head when the Queen was suddenly thrown to the ground.

_Holy shit_, _someone's head will roll! On second thought, we're all gonna die!_ I realized in a panic. When I looked again, I saw that it was the white rabbit that had run straight into the Queen and accidentally knocked Dulor's head with his giant watch. The timing couldn't have been more perfect, seeing that the white rabbit saved Dulor's life at complete chance. I think that incident resonated with him somehow, the whole luck and time thing, but I wouldn't really know. You'd have to ask him about that.

I didn't exactly have much time to think about Dulor, seeing that the white rabbit had been running from a small army of strange, black creatures. And they had all followed him to where we all were. They were about the size of small cats, but they had glowing, yellow eyes and antennae. They attacked us, killing as many as they could. And then the worst happened. Somehow, they _killed the Queen_ right in front of us! I'll never forget that image, all of those creatures climbing on top of her, smothering her with their numbers. She was like a great beast, a dragon that had been taken down by hundreds of puny knights. I couldn't believe what I was seeing! It was like it happened, but it didn't register with me! I didn't know that there was any force in existence that could even _hurt_ our powerful Queen, let alone _kill_ her!

Before I could even think about the implications of her death, hundreds more of these creatures swarmed in, brutally continuing the carnage. For a second, I thought my world was about to end. I had no idea how close to the truth I was.


	2. Transformation

Ok, maybe this needs a bit of an explanation. After reading several fics about Demyx's somebody as a merman, I decided that there needed to be one about Marluxia as a flower with a card-soldier Luxord in the background. I _might_ expand on Luxord eventually, _if _I get enough reviews...

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Hundreds. Thousands of them swarmed us at once. I couldn't see what was happening for the life of me. I didn't even know what happened to the corpse of the Queen. All I could see was darkness, the darkness of the creature's bodies. We had our share of madness here in Wonderland, but this was sheer insanity. This was the wrong type of insanity, the insanity that made you fear for your life.

After what seemed like an eternity of swarming, writhing blackness, I finally caught a glimpse of two hooded figures. They were just standing just beyond the chaos with their arms crossed, watching the scene. The strange part was that none of the creatures were attacking them. I didn't know who they were, but I didn't like them. Did they send the creatures? Why weren't they helping us? We had no idea what they were or how to fight them, and it wasn't like any of us were exactly warrior material, except maybe the Queen but she was already dead. The only other fighters were the card soldiers, but come on, they're made of freaking_ paper_! Besides the spears they wielded, they weren't exactly going to make much of a difference. Several of the creatures attacked me and my brothers in the rose patch. I was knocked out almost instantly. There had never been a point in my life that I ever regretted being a flower until that day. I was helpless to defend myself. I wanted to take the axe of the executioner and kill them all, bringing my wrath down on them with the mercy of our late Queen.

No matter what my wishes were, they didn't matter. The only thing that mattered was the fact that I was out cold.

I awoke several hours later, still in my rose bed. The first thing I noticed was that it felt like there was something missing. Something that was supposed to be inside of me, but I couldn't place it. I felt empty, and this feeling greatly overpowered any pain I was in. I was a little tattered, a rip in one of my leaves and a few petals missing. I looked down at one of my petals on the ground, with some of the red paint on it and smudged with dirt. I almost fainted at the sight. It's not every day you nearly get your reproductive organs ripped off. I was in a bit of pain, and that void in my soul was a little disorienting, but I was still rooted to the ground and didn't seem to be in any immediate danger of death. I sighed and took a look around to see what had happened.

There was nothing. The roses that had been around me were _gone._ I hoped that they hadn't been destroyed or uprooted, but I seriously doubted it. All of the other flowers were gone. The black creatures were also gone, but I decided that was a good thing. There were no other people in sight. There weren't any corpses or anything around, and I wasn't sure if that was bad thing or a good thing. I could see a lone card soldier lying face down on the ground. It looked like Dulor, but I couldn't tell because I couldn't see his suit or number. Besides him, there was no one. The whole area looked like hell had ripped through. Which it did, but that was beside the point.

Then I saw the two hooded figures from before. There were only the four of us on the battle field. They went directly to the card soldier. They knelt down by his side and flipped him over so they could see his face. I couldn't really see much from where I was, but what I heard was enough.

"How's he look?" asked a surprisingly youthful voice.

"He's still alive. No heartbeat, though. You know what that means." This voice had a strange accent to it, like some sort of surfer or stoner.

_No heartbeat? Was that normal for the card soldiers?_

Then I saw the last thing I wanted to see. A few of the black creatures, maybe ten, came up behind the hooded figures. I was about to warn them; after all, they seemed to be taking care of the card soldier, the only other potential survivor on the battlefield. Before I could say anything, they seemed to sense it somehow. The one with the accent turned around to the creatures and motioned to the other.

"Hey kid, looks like you get fightin' practice! Go for it while I take care of this one," he said as he motioned at the card soldier. At this point, the "kid" brought out his hand and summoned a…guitar? I couldn't tell exactly what it was, but he started playing a tune on it and was somehow fighting the creatures. I was still pretty disoriented, so it wasn't like I could really process what was happening. He ran at them with wobbly legs. Maybe he was _really _young, because he looked like he didn't have much experience with the simple task of _walking_. Then again, it wasn't like I had any room to talk, but at least I had an excuse.

The kid killed a few of them, but he soon became overwhelmed.

"Xigbar, help!" the kid said as he started swinging his guitar-thing at them.

"You can do it. That's why I brought you with me, so you could practice," the man called Xigbar said.

"But Xigbar, they're gonna hurt me!" he said. All of a sudden it started raining. I mean downright pouring. It was like an ocean fell on us. This was most certainly no natural rain. It stung my wounds, but at least some of the paint was coming off. I started feeling very strange, but I didn't dare take my attention from the men in front of me in case one of them would say something important, like for instance the whereabouts of the other inhabitants of Wonderland.

Xigbar looked at the kid with annoyance, like it was _his_ fault it started to rain.

"You know, you really need to learn to control your powers. Can't you lighten it up a bit?" he shouted over the pouring rain as he tightened up his hood.

The kid pulled his hood down (I guess the rain didn't bother him) and looked at Xigbar with tears in his eyes-or was it the rain? For the first time I could see how he looked. He had pale skin and his hair was cut in a strange way, like some combination of a mullet and a Mohawk. "Please Xigbar, help me!" the kid yelled as he continued to swing his guitar while stumbling over his own feet.

By this time, Xigbar got annoyed and pulled out-_was that a gun?_- and shot all of the creatures effortlessly.

Unfortunately, I couldn't pay much attention to all of this because something started happening to me. If all that I had been thorough hadn't been enough, _this_ had to happen.

Being from Wonderland, I've seen more than my share of insanity. But this was the strangest thing I had _ever_ encountered.

I felt my stem start to widen. My leaves started forming into arms like that of humans. My blossom started forming into-was that hair?! A face started to form where the bottom of my blossom was, and my roots started forming into legs. I felt the dirt push up on-were those feet?! I became more and more human like, and it was extremely uncomfortable. The earth herself started pushing me out of the dirt like I was some kind of abomination. I should've felt disowned, but for some reason…I didn't. As strange as this transformation was, the lack of feeling was even stranger. I liked that far less than my new body.

After I became what looked like a human, I panicked and started throwing the dirt back on my legs trying to cover them up and trying to re-root myself. By now the dirt had turned to mud, but that was beside the point. I decided that this was enough! I couldn't survive without dirt! What, was Mother Nature trying to kill me?!

"GAHH! What the hell is happening to me?!" I shouted with all of the fear and frustration I could muster, even if for some reason I couldn't "feel" it. I had the attention of the two men by now, and it looked like Xigbar had sent the kid over to me while he attended to the card soldier.

"Hey," the kid said to me, "Are you ok? Is it all right if I take your pulse?"

I stared at him like he had two heads. What the hell was a pulse? Whatever it was, I don't think I ever had one of those before.

Not hearing a response from me, the kid slowly took my new hand, but I batted him off in my delirium. "Hey," he said with kind eyes, "My name's Demyx and I'm just trying to help you. What's your name?"

"L-Lumaria," I stuttered.

"Good, Lumaria. Now, will you let me take your pulse?"

Demyx, huh? These were pretty strange names these guys had. I gave up and let him have the hand he reached for earlier. He put two fingers on what I later learned to be called a "wrist" as if he was feeling for something.

"Nope, nothing," he said with a smile. "Xigbar, we got another one!" he yelled over his shoulder. He seemed to be in a better mood than earlier, and the rain lightened drastically.

For the first time since my transformation I looked over to where Xigbar was kneeling over the card soldier. Except where the card soldier was, there was a man. Did the card soldier change as well?

Xigbar looked up at me and gave a low whistle. "Man, this is getting complicated real fast. This guy here looks pretty good, so I'm gonna give him my coat and have you go back to headquarters with him." At that point I remembered that humans usually wore clothes, which the card soldier and I were without. I didn't really care, and I wasn't entirely sure why they wore clothes in the first place, but that was the least of my worries.

Xigbar covered the card soldier with his jacket (boy, this "Xigbar" sure had a lot of scars, and an eyepatch to boot) and opened some kind of black portal which the kid carried the card soldier through without a second thought. I couldn't help but notice that the card soldier never became conscious, which concerned me. _I hope he'll be all right. He may be the last survivor of Wonderland besides me. Hell, I don't even know if I'll survive._

When Demyx left, the rain completely stopped. I didn't exactly have time to make rhyme or reason for this because I had been left alone with a scary looking guy who had killed off all of those creatures like they were nothing.

He looked down at me with what looked like pity in his one eye. There I was, completely soaked, covered in mud, still had paint on me, and confused as hell in this strange new body. And to top it all off, that feeling of emptiness was really getting to me.

"How ya feelin? Er…" he started awkwardly. He knelt down to face me. "Um…" he started, rubbing the back of his head, "My name's Xigbar. I'm gonna try to help you out here. What's your name?"

I looked at him with fear and suspicion. I didn't know whether or not he was going to try to kill me, and I wasn't in nearly the right frame of mind for life-and-death decisions like this. For all I knew he had the same temperament as our late Queen. It was all I could do but sit there and shake like a leaf. Then I remembered that I didn't have leaves anymore, and that only made it even worse.

"Tell ya what," Xigbar started, "you seem pretty healthy, and you're most definitely one of us, so why don't I take you with me and try to help you out? There's nothing left for either of us here," he said, motioning to the desolate battlefield.

I couldn't argue with that. Besides, if I refused his help, I'd be all alone, and I hadn't the slightest clue how to function in a human body.

Did all of these humans have some sort of cavern in their hearts? If that was the case, I definitely didn't want to be human for long. Maybe this "Xigbar" could turn me back into a rose.

I looked at Xigbar and brought out my hand to him.

He smiled and said "Attaboy!" With that, he grabbed my muddy hand and got me on my feet without the slightest amount of grace. _Holy shit, it's high up here,_ I thought as I landed flat on my face. Having legs wasn't exactly working out for me.

Xigbar frowned. "You're gonna be just like Demyx, aren't you?" he seemed to say more to himself more than to me. I looked up at him from my position on the ground. The concept of travel didn't appeal to me, especially since I had never moved from that spot since birth.

He gave me his hand again, and this time he actually helped me to my feet. He draped my arm over his shoulders to try and steady me. "There we go," he said as he got me on my feet without me falling over. "Oh yeah," he remembered, "guess I gotta get you some clothes too. Man, and Demyx left with my coat," he grumbled. But hey, I wasn't too concerned about clothes. I just wanted to be a rose again, but more importantly I wanted to get rid of this empty feeling in my chest.

Xigbar opened a portal in front of us, just like before, and we went through. Before that day, I never realized how far upside-down my life had the ability to turn.

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A/N- Next week is spring break at my college and I get to go home! Yay for me! Unfortunately my computer back at home doesn't work so I probably won't be able to update until I get back (frown). 


	3. Meeting Vexen and Pink Hair

Spring break was good, but now I can upload fanfics. Joy!

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We came out of the blacker than black portal to some sort of laboratory. It was cold and there was no one in sight. 

"I guess he's busy with Dulor," Xigbar said, seeming to expect someone there.

That got my attention. "Dulor? You mean that card soldier? So he got turned into a human too?"

"Woah, dude, let's set you down and then I can answer your questions." He seated me on a shiny, metal lab table and started rummaging through a closet. I looked at my legs as I started swinging them. It was so weird, not having half my body in the ground anymore.

"Here, put this hospital gown on," he said as he gave me a paper dress. "No one wants to see that," he said, looking away.

"Uh..." I held it out in front of me, looking at it like I'd never seen one before. Which I hadn't.

"Fine, I'll show you how to do it. Hold your arms out in front of you."

I did, and he slipped it on over my arms (even as a rose I at least knew what those were) and tied it in the back.

Xigbar took a seat in a chair in front of me. "Well, if we have to wait for Vexen, I may as well explain a few things to you." Before he started, I cut him off.

"What happened to Wonderland? What were those creatures? Where's Dulor? What happened to me? Are you going to turn me back into a rose? Am I going to be able to go back home?" I rattled off all of the questions I could think of that had been building up inside me.

"Woah, kid, one at a time. Don't kill yourself there. Maybe I better explain a couple things first. Where do I start…" At which point Xigbar started explaining what heartless are, what they did to me and my home, and that I was a nobody. A nobody. I didn't want to believe it, but I knew it was true. At least that explained the emptiness in my chest. Before he could explain much else, a new person came in the room.

He had a stern look and his blond hair hung in his face. Somehow I knew that we would get to know each other very well despite his cold exterior.

Speaking of cold, did the room's temperature just drop a few degrees? I shook it off as something this new body concocted for me.

"So, it seems that we have a new one?" the man said, looking me up and down. I had never felt so self-conscious in my life. Or was that an illusion, like Xigbar said? I didn't have time to think about that.

"Vexen, this is Lumaria. I found him in Wonderland with that other nobody. And he used to be a flower," he said like I was some kind of weirdo. I was nearly insulted.

"Hey, not just any flower, I was a rose and we roses have dignity!" I had a lot of things removed from me, like my home and my heart, but I was a rose and damn proud of it!

Vexen's eyebrow raised at the thought. "I didn't know flowers had hearts to lose. Very well, I'll proceed with the examination. Is there anything else about him that I need to know about, Number II?"

I was a bit leery at the fact that this guy, Xigbar, the one who was explaining things to me and was keeping my head on straight was called by a number, but considering all of the other weird things happening I just let it slide.

"I think he knows that other guy Demyx brought in. Other than that I got nothing. If you don't need me, I'll go check up on them to see if Demyx tried explaining anything to him yet."

"Very well," Vexen said with a dismissive wave of his hand. Xigbar left us, leaving me all alone with this Vexen person. Something told me he wasn't going to be nearly as nice as Xigbar.

"All right, 'Lumaria', let's get this done. First, I'm going to check for wounds," he said as he started inspecting this new body of mine. I just stayed still; he looked like he knew what he was doing.

"Pretty muddy, aren't you? Care to tell me what happened?"

I sighed. "When I changed form, I tried to re-plant myself. Without my roots in the ground I was gonna die," I said with defeat.

Vexen chuckled and continued his examination.

While Vexen inspected me, I asked him questions about these people and who they were. He refused to answer anything and told me that everything would be explained when I met the Superior.

After a few hours of poking, prodding, and exhaustion on my part (this Vexen person didn't seem tired at all-was he used to this sort of thing?) we were finally finished.

"There. You seem to be in good health. Now, let's clean that mud off of you and get you a uniform. Then you can meet the Superior."

I wasn't about to argue with that. The mud had dried on my skin and was coming off in flakes. Vexen motioned for me to follow him, and I slowly crawled off the table in an effort to keep my balance and _not_ fall on my face like I did earlier. I clung to the side of the table with both hands, keeping my feet firmly on the ground. I looked at Vexen as I stood there, slightly wobbling but still standing. "Where to?" Vexen motioned towards one of the back rooms in the laboratory. "This way," he said as he spun around and headed in that direction.

_Apparently he can't exactly tell when someone needs help._ "Hey, wait up!" I called, trying to steady myself before taking my first steps on my own. I let go of the table and turned around in his direction. I took a step-a short, quick step-but a step nonetheless. And I did it without falling over. I was so proud of my accomplishment that I fell. _Well, so much for that._ Vexen rushed back in when he heard me hit the ground. He looked at me with surprise.

"Oh. Right. You've never walked before. I suppose that means I have to help you," he said in an annoyed tone, but he offered his hand nonetheless. I took it without hesitation, and he lifted me up to his level. I clung to his shoulders for dear life, hoping that I wouldn't embarrass myself again by falling.

"Woah," he said, wobbling a little under my weight, "Let's try this." He slung my arm around his neck like Xigbar did for me before. "Now, are you ready?"

_No time like the present._ "Yep."

Vexen started walking slowly, allowing me to keep up and try to walk on my own. After a while, I thought I was starting to get the hang of it. _One foot out, then the other._ We made it back to the room Vexen mentioned earlier. The whole room was lined with tiles, and there were shower heads lining the walls. There was a bathtub in the corner of the room. He sat me down on the edge of the tub and he turned on the water, checking every so often to see if it was warm enough.

I guess my curiosity with this contraption was annoying Vexen, because he told me to practice walking while he was running the bath. Then again, I _did_ need the practice. I got up and clung to the wall as I started walking along it. _This isn't so bad. I could get used to this._

When Vexen was finished, he motioned for me to go to him. I slowly walked to where he was.

"If you're going to survive in this Organization you'll need to learn to walk faster." _Well, there goes the self-respect I had just gained by learning to walk. _"I take it you've never had a bath before?"

"Nope," I said as I shook my head. _Finally, this guy is starting to see where I'm coming from._

"Like I've got nothing better to do...I'll make this quick. First, you take off that gown. Then, you get in the tub. Use the soap and washcloth to get that mud off you. Dry off with this towel. I'll be back in twenty minutes." With that, he turned on his heel and left.

I looked behind me at that knot Xigbar had put in and gingerly gave one of the strings a pull. Luckily it came apart without a hassle. I left it on the floor and got in the tub. The water was a little cooler than I would've liked, but after turning the knobs I saw Vexen using I got it just right. I quickly figured out how the soap worked. After I was squeaky clean, I got out and dried myself with the towel Vexen left for me. It had been exactly twenty minutes, and Vexen came back in with a folded uniform in his hands. After taking a look at me, he gave a rare chuckle.

"I didn't realize it would be _that_ pink. There must've been more mud on you than I realized."

"What? What's pink?"

"Your hair. It's rather...unique. Not a typical color for a nobody. Most of us acquired a lighter hair color after we became nobodies. I thought it was bad when I became a blonde, but you-" he pointed at me and smiled, "I suppose there are worse fates than being blonde."

"What? Pink?! But I had white petals!" I protested, trying to pull my hair in front of my face so I could see it. Not that I had a problem with pink, but I was trying to make sense of it all. I would think that my original white petals would be reflected in my hair, but no, Mother Nature played another cruel trick on me. I could see the tips, and it was most definitely pink. Then it hit me. "Oh man," I realized, "When I became a nobody I had red paint on my petals...and then it started raining, so the colors might've blended a little...Do you think the red paint and my original white petals combined to form pink?"

"That could very well be the case. You also happen to come from a world where nothing makes any sense, so there could be other causes. Now, get this uniform on and meet me back in the examination room. I'll take you to see the Superior."

"Ok, Vexen."

Vexen sighed. "Refer to me as Number IV, neophyte." _Boy, how many test tubes does he have up his ass? _

He gave me the uniform and left. After examining it and seeing that it looked exactly like Vexen's, Xigbar's, and Demyx's, I figured out how to put it on. _Uniform, huh? What kind of Organization is this? And the whole number thing? _I started to think of all the questions floating through my head as I put on this new outfit. When I was finished, I looked down at myself. This was the most I had ever worn, and it felt strange. Like it was restricting me. I looked at myself as a whole. A human-er-nobody-appearance, pink hair, and a strange costume. It's one thing to be human, but to be wearing clothes? This was definitely strange.

"Painting the roses red, indeed," I muttered as I walked out to where Vexen-er- "Four"- was waiting for me.


	4. The Superior and Dulor

Number IV was looking through some papers in a manilla folder when I found him. He looked up and said, "Good, you're ready. It's time to see the Superior." He closed the folder and motioned for me to follow him. He walked a little faster than I would've liked through the winding halls, and he occasionally had to wait for me so I wouldn't lose him completely (he wasn't too thrilled with that), but we eventually made our way to the double doors of an office. Number IV knocked, and the door opened to reveal a man-er-probably a nobody-with blue hair and an X-shaped scar on his face. He looked at me with these intense, yellow eyes. _Is he the Superior? He's pretty scary looking..._

"This is the other new member," the blue-haired nobody said more as a statement than a question.

"Yes, VII. Is the Superior ready?" asked Vexen. _So if this _isn't _the Superior, then whoever is must be _really _intimidating._

"Yes. Come in." The door opened to reveal a large, white room. At the end of the room was a man sitting on a throne with his hood covering his face. Just by looking at him, I knew this had to be the Superior. And for some reason I did not like him at all. Maybe it was his aura, maybe it was something that I couldn't quite put my finger on, but I knew right there that I was never going to like him. Unfortunately, if he was in fact the Superior I would have to pretend to like him. I had learned from experience that no matter what tyrant is your leader, you'd best pretend to like them unless you wanted your head chopped off. Besides, if I was going to get any questions answered this was the guy to do it.

The blue-haired man led us up to where the Superior was waiting.

"You must be Lumaria," a deep voice came from under that hood. Now I _really_ didn't like him.

"Yes, sir," I whimpered, shaking both with nervousness (or the memory of nervousness? This "no feelings" thing is so confusing!) and the fact that I hadn't been walking for too long.

"All of the examinations for him are complete, IV?"

"Yes, Superior."

"Good. You are dismissed, IV." Vexen turned and left, leaving me alone with these two scary looking nobodies. Even if Vexen was a little snobbish, I at least enjoyed his presence much more than I did these two. The one with the blue hair looked like he could kill you as soon as look at you.

"VII, if you have no further reason to be here, you are dismissed as well."

"Yes, Superior." And he left. _I can't win, can I? _I would've rather been left with this "Seven" guy than the "Superior." And what made him so "Superior" anyways?

"Lumaria, welcome to what is now Organization XI. Do you know what the purpose of this Organization is?"

I shook my head. "N-no, sir." And after that, he went on with his long, drawn out speechabout the Organization and Kingdom Hearts for quite some time. I was amazed at my stamina for such things. He even droned out his words, making them last as long as the English language permitted them to. On the plus side, his explanation answered a few of my questions.

"Now, any questions?" I had more than I could count, even though much of my confusion had been cleared. However, I didn't really want to talk to him any longer than necessary. Hopefully the other Organization members could answer my remaining questions.

"No, sir, I think I'm good." I eyed the door, hoping he'd let me leave. I wasn't sure where I'd go, hopefully to meet Xigbar or Demyx, but I wanted to be anywhere but here.

"Ah, ah, not so fast. You still need a name, Number XI."

I froze at being called by a number for the first time. I liked the name I already had! Why did I need a new one? "I have a name, and it's Lumaria."

The Superior ignored me and made an X float in the air. "Every member gets a new name that's made up of their old name anagrammed with an X." He made my name, Lumaira, float in the air alongside the X. After switching the letters around (he didn't even let me pick) he deemed me "Marluxia." And I didn't even like that name. _Why did we even get names when we just called each other by number? _

"Marluxia, Number XI of Organization XI. You are to go to Numbers II and III for training. They will find out your element and you will recieve a weapon. You are dismissed."

I got out of there as fast as I could without letting him know how much I disliked him. Not that I had any idea where I'd find "Numbers II and III", but I suppose wandering around the castle wouldn't hurt...right? Wait a minute, wasn't Number II Xigbar? That was a good sign. He was one of the members I liked so far.

After wandering around the castle for a bit, hoping my confusion would clear at least a little, I wandered into a room. It looked like a kitchen, and I saw two other nobodies in there.

"Damn neophytes! You'd think they'd clean up after themselves," muttered one of them to the other. He was scrubbing the counter with his back to me. From what I could see of him, he had long, black dreadlocks and he wore a purple apron over a muscle shirt, revealing thick, hairy arms.

The other one stood idly by, nodding in agreement. He was tall and bulky with brownish red hair.

The tall one was the first to notice me. "Hello. You must be one of the new members. I'm Lexaeus, Number V," he said, shaking my hand.

"I'm Lu- I mean, Marluxia, Number XI."

"Heh, is that name thing bothering you? Don't worry, it does that to everyone." I could only nod my head in agreement.

The other nobody turned to face me. _Woah, I didn't know sideburns could look like they could take over the worlds. _He smiled and introduced himself as Xaldin, Number III.

"Oh, you're Number III? That's good, because the Superior told me to find you and Xig- I mean Number II for training." I called him by number for formal purposes, just in case.

"Very well," Number III said, taking off his apron and trading it for the Organization coat that hung on the wall. "Lexaeus, would you like to join us?"

"Yes, I would."

"Good. Right this way, XI." Xaldin led the way through more twisted hallways. It would be a miracle if I didn't get myself lost once I tackled this castle for myself.

"Hey guys, I have a question," I said.

Number III chuckled. "As to be expected. What is it?"

"What do I call you? Some of the Organization members want me to call them by number, like IV, and some want me to call them by name, like Demyx."

"Call us by number. If we become close friends, then you can call us by name, Number XI," said Number V.

"Where's Number II?" I asked, hoping to see someone a little more friendly.

"He must be testing Number X," Number III said. "You'll be working with V and myself." I wasn't entirely sure who Number X was…could it be Dulor? I couldn't get my hopes up until I was absolutely sure.

"Who is Number X?" I asked.

"I don't know. I haven't met him yet," answered Number III.

We walked through more hallways and went down some stairs. It's a miracle I didn't trip down them, even though it took me so long that I earned a glare from Number III. _Boy, this Organization is serious, isn't it? I haven't had a moment's rest all day! I'm still having a hard time believing I was a flower early this morning. I hope I can survive._

Seeming to read my thoughts, Number V told me I'd be able to use something called a "dark corridor" when I learned how to get around. _Wait, did he _actually _read my thoughts? Didn't the Superior say something about "finding my element"? If I get an element, does that mean everyone else has one? Does Number V have the power of telepathy?_

"The Superior told me that you guys would help me find my element. What did he mean by that?"

"We're simply going to test your powers and see how you react. We'll help you find your latent powers so that you can practice using them to benefit the Organization," Number III offered.

"Latent powers, huh?"

"Yes, the basic ones being wind, fire, water, and earth, but we occasionally get odd ones like ice or space."

"That's interesting," I mused. "I hope I get something cool, like earth." I noticed that Number V smiled as he looked straight ahead at where he was going.

We finally came to an open room that looked like a gym or training area. Xigbar-er, Number II was here with - _sweet Mother Nature, is that Dulor?! _I hadn't seen him since I watched Demyx take his unconscious body through that portal! And here he was, alive and well! And judging by his uniform, I guess he also become a member of the Organization!

"Dulor!" I shouted at him. In the moment I forgot that he was in the middle of training. He whipped his head around to look at me and almost got shot.

"One of the first rules of fighting-never let your guard down," said Number II as he jumped from the ceiling to the floor. _Wait, he was on the ceiling?! Must be the element thing. _Dulor just looked at me funny, like he knew me from somewhere but didn't remember. Then I realized that the last time he'd seen me, I was a rose. With white petals, but I wasn't about to get all huffy about that right now.

"Hey guys, you here to train Marluxia?" Number II said as he walked over to us, swinging his guns. _If he calls me by name, maybe it's ok to call him Xigbar. _Dulor followed him, still watching me and trying to remember. I was almost insulted, but given the events of the day it was nothing.

"Dulor, it's good to know you're ok!" He still wasn't fazed. "Don't you remember? It's me! Lumaria! Well, now they call me 'Marluxia, Number XI.'"

His face brightened up and he looked me up and down. "Lumaria? That's you? Holy shit, have you changed! But wait, why is your hair pink? You used to have white petals! That is, until I-" he cut himself off as he realized. "Oh...I'm so sorry," he said while trying not to laugh.

"This little reunion is nice and all, but we have training to do," Number III cut us off as he summoned a-woah, that was a big lance.

* * *

For the record, I actually like Xemnas, but Marluxia doesn't. Don't worry Marly, you'll get your chance. (and don't scythe me for calling you that XD) 


	5. Time and Flowers

Wow guys, it has been way too long since my last post. I know I said I'd post after finals, but I got lazy. I really have no excuses. Sorry about that, maybe my motivation's dying out.

Still don't own KH.

* * *

Next thing I knew, Dulor-er, I mean Luxord, as he was now called- and I were backed against the wall by six lances, two guns, and a tomahawk.

These guys were serious and pretty damn strong. I looked over at Luxord as he closed his eyes and put up his hands in defense. All of a sudden, our oncoming opponents froze! It was like they were stuck there, their minds as frozen as their bodies! Luxord and I looked at each other questioningly, and then he waved his hands in front of Number V's face as if to say 'Hello? Is anyone home?' Then it was like a spell broke, and the nobodies were back to normal.

"What the bloody hell just happened?!" asked Luxord. Numbers III and V looked at each other, slightly aware that something out of the ordinary just happened but they were still trying to figure it out. Xigbar, on the other hand, knew exactly what happened even though he was as frozen as his comrades.

Xigbar gave Luxord a hearty (no pun intended) slap on the back and said, "Well, well, it looks like we got ourselves a time-warper! Look out everyone, Space and Time are comin' through!"

"What the hell was that?!" Luxord questioned.

"That was your element kicking in! You, my friend, have the element of time!" Xigbar said triumphantly.

"Nice," Luxord said. He seemed to be pleased with his element.

"Now try summoning your weapon," Xigbar added.

"O...kay...and how exactly am I supposed to do that?"

"Like this!" With that Xigbar dismissed his guns, brought forth his hands and summoned his guns with a flash of purple darkness.

"Use the darkness, Luxord. As a nobody, that's where your power lies. Without the darkness, you wouldn't even have the power to exist as faintly as you do, let alone manipulate time," added Number III.

Luxord nodded and brought his right hand out. With a bit of focus and concentration, black and white shimmers of darkness formed around his hand. Slowly but surely something began to materialize...whatever it was, it was small...after a few suspenseful moments, the weapon took form. I tried it too, but to my dismay nothing happened.

Luxord held up his weapon in confusion. "Playing cards...?"

Xigbar looked at the cards, then at Luxord. Then back at the cards. Then he started laughing.

"OH MY FUCKING GOD...CARDS? YOUR WEAPON IS A PACK OF FUCKING CARDS? WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? OH GOD, THAT IS PRICELESS!" He was rolling around on the floor and clutching his stomach. Luxord turned red and started flipping through his new deck, trying to make sense of it all, trying to see if there was some catch to it.

_I hope that when I get my weapon, it's not something Xigbar will make fun of._

"Xigbar," Number V cut in, "There must be some reason for this. Perhaps a pack of cards is more dangerous than it appears." Luxord looked up at him with hope in his eyes. Or was that the memory of hope? This nobody business is confusing...

Xigbar took a few deep breaths and got off the ground, but before he could speak he was pinned to the wall. Upon further inspection he realized that those blasted cards had been thrown at him like knives. "Holy shit...!" Xigbar quickly examined where the cards had been thrown and relieved to find almost all of his skin intact. "Great shot, kid!" Luxord smiled and removed the cards, allowing Xigbar to drop to the ground.

"It's good that Luxord's such a fast learner. But we're not quite finished yet," said Number V as he eyed me and gripped his tomahawk. He stomped his broad foot on the ground, causing the earth to shake. I jumped in surprise. _He's an earth elemental?_All of a sudden my respect for the nobody shot up like a bamboo shoot. But I couldn't dwell on that, I needed to fight back! The floor cracked underneath my feet as I jumped to the most stable patch of ground I could find. If the shaking arena wasn't enough, it was getting surprisingly windy in there - almost enough to knock me down. Looking at Xaldin I noticed he was creating air currents with his hands while hurling lances at me. I couldn't fight back or anything to save my life! What were they trying to do, scare my element out of me? How could I possibly fight back? Then I realized that I hadn't fallen down yet. I was surprising myself with my graceful running; you wouldn't have known I had only started walking that morning. _This is no time to jinx yourself; unleash that latent power!_ I tried to find that energy, that certain something to use against them, but it simply would not come no matter how many times I narrowly escaped a flying lance or swinging tomahawk. Then a deadly thought crossed my mind - _What if I don't have an element?_ What if I was just a weakling, as helpless to defend myself as I was when I was a rose? _At least I can run now. _I ran and ran around that arena until I thought I would collapse, and then I ran some more, all the while trying to unleash something - anything - to use against them. I noticed that Luxord and Xigbar were developing Luxord's powers on the other side of the arena.

I felt (yes, I felt, I don't care what those other nobodies say!) downright inferior. Here Luxord found his element and weapon in a matter of minutes, and here I was running around a shaking, windy arena for what seemed like hours. I earnestly hoped I would find my element and weapon before we stopped training. I didn't want to look weak to these people or else they could use it against me.

Then I fell. Into a hole, courtesy of Number V. It was a surprisingly deep hole, and for a minute I thought I was dreaming. _Yes, that's right, I'm dreaming. I'm not really battling in a vain attempt at finding an "element" or summoning a "weapon", I never turned into a nobody, there is no Organization XIII, and in a few minutes I'll wake up in my rosebush back in Wonderland._

I almost felt my roots in the ground again when I was suddenly jerked back to reality by Number V grabbing the hood of my Organization robe and pulling me out of the ground like a weed.

_Damn. This sucks._

XXXXXXXXXXX

After far too much time and yet not enough, the blue-haired nobody stepped in. Numbers V and III finally stopped attacking and lowered their weapons. I fell to my knees in the appreciation of stable ground after running about for far too long. "The Superior is about to start a meeting. I suggest you hurry," Number VII said with his arms crossed. As relieved as I was that training was over, I was disappointed that I couldn't unleash any power. And..._Oh fuck. I'll have to see the "Superior," won't I?_

"Well kiddos, this'll be your first meeting. Marluxia, I guess we'll have to wait on your element and weapon until tomorrow," Xigbar said with a smile. Then a sad realization finally dawned on me. There will be a tomorrow with the Organization. And a tomorrow after that. And after that. And so on..._How long will I be here?_

Number V opened a portal (were these the "dark corridors" they were talking about?) and said, "The Superior doesn't like to be kept waiting." We went through and ended up in a white room. There were thrones around the room, some higher than others. At the highest sat the Superior. He still had his hood up, and it occurred to me that I'd never seen his face.

After everyone had filed in and sat in their designated seats (mine being the lowest, since I was the lowest in rank which I was not too pleased about), the Superior started speaking. I hated the sound of his voice.

"Gentlemen, I've called a meeting together in order to introduce our two newest members of our fine Organization. I've already explained to them the activities of this Organization..." he went on and on, and by the way did I mention that I can't stand him? _Constant babbling... _Anyway, he finally got to the part where we introduce ourselves. He started by pulling off his hood, revealing a tanned face and silver hair. His eyes looked like they could pierce the soul, and I looked away quickly. "My name is Xemnas, Number I, the Superior." _Yes, you're the Superior, I get it, now fuck off._I didn't dare say anything aloud. After seeing his face I loathed him more than ever. He motioned to Xigbar next to him, who gave Luxord and I a smile and said, "You guys know me, I'm Xigbar, Number II, the Freeshooter."

"Xaldin, Number III, The Whirlwind Lancer." I already knew him, and I decided it was good to know the first two in command after the Superior. Maybe if I made friends with them I'd move up in rank. Maybe, but I wasn't counting on it. It couldn't hurt.

"Vexen, Number IV, The Chilly Academic," he said as coldly as ever. _Good, I know you too._

"Lexaeus, Number V, The Silent Hero." Hero, huh? I didn't see that coming. So far I knew all of these nobodies, which was good. I hadn't formed any enemies yet (except of course the "Superior", but he doesn't need to know about that) so this all works well in my favor...

"Zexion, Number VI, The Cloaked Schemer." He looked young but gave a very mature image.

"Saix, Number VII, The Luna Diviner." I figured he would be a higher rank than that, given what I've seen of him so far. He's so stoic and calm. Somehow I don't think I'd ever want to get on his bad side. _What's under your lifeless exterior?_

As they were introducing themselves, I noticed that each of them said their name, their number, and their nickname in that order. Was that something that the "Superior" ordered? Something to keep them under his thumb? Or did they do it of their own initiative simply because it was the easiest way to introduce themselves?

"Axel, Number VIII, The Flurry of Dancing Flames, got it memorized?" he said with a mischievous grin as he eyed the two of us. How did I miss this guy? If his attitude didn't shine like fire for a mile radius, his bright red hair did.

"Hey guys, remember me? I'm Demyx, Number IX, The Melodius Nocturne," Demyx smiled at us. He seemed to be one of the nicer ones. Or at least he pretended like he had a heart.

It was our turn. Luxord came to the castle before me, so he came first. "Luxord, Number X. So far we found that my element is time, and that my weapon is a pack of cards, but I don't have a nickname yet."

The "Superior" smiled and nodded. "Good. And Number XI, care to introduce yourself?"

_I really hate you, and I don't even like that name but here goes._"My name is Marluxia, Number XI," I mustered as confidently as I could. But something strange happened as I introduced myself. Maybe it was the present company, maybe it was my hatred of Xemnas, but the next thing I knew I was surrounded by pink. And then a few of them started laughing at me. Xigbar, Xaldin, Vexen, Axel, and even Luxord? What the hell were they laughing at? I looked around to find that I was surrounded by flower petals. I had no idea where they came from, but apparently they were a cause for laughter. I looked down and my face heated up.

"Oh God, his face is the color of his hair!" laughed Axel.

"No, it's the color of your hair, Axel!" added Xigbar.

"Don't be embarrassed, and don't even listen to them," said Demyx. "If it makes you feel any better, they say my sitar looks like a giant-"

Xemnas interrupted him. "So, your element is flowers?" he mused with a smile. "Intriguing. I'm sure we'll find a use for it. Marluxia, tomorrow you will meet Saix and I for more training now that your element has been identified. You need to excercise it and learn to control it."

I fumed. _Great, so this is my power?! Making fucking petals appear out of nowhere?! What the shit is that?! What am I gonna do, throw fucking flowers at my enemies?!_

Xemnas dismissed the meeting, and everyone left me frozen in my seat with shame. That is, almost everyone. Number IV looked down his nose at me and said, "You are nothing. You are nobody. Never forget that. Anything you think you feel is merely a memory of the emotion."

I soon found myself face to face with Demyx. I still hadn't found the strength to get out of my chair, and everyone else had gone long ago. "Don't worry, Marluxia, I'm sure it'll work out in the end." And then I started to cry. I hated myself for doing that, but I'd rather it be with Demyx than any of the other members. He seemed like the only one who could understand. His caring nature was proven to me when he gave me a hug and whispered in my ear. "Shh, it's ok, go on, let it out...better out than in..."

Vexen was right. I was nobody. I was nothing. And I felt lower than the dirt I longed to be replanted in. Just like that, my dignity was shattered beyond repair.

* * *

And now, for a little out-of-character sketch that I thought was funny but didn't fit with my story:

"What about you? What's your element?" I asked Number V.  
The Silent Hero gave me the same stone look (no pun intended) he always did and gave me a short answer: "Your Mom."  
"...Wait, what?"  
"You used to be a rose, correct?"  
"...Yes"  
"And your mother is Earth, correct?"  
"...Yes"  
"Therefore, since my element is earth, my element is your mom."  
"...I suppose I can't argue with that..."

Xigbar: "We got ourselves a time-warper!" (pictures Luxord doing the time warp from Rocky Horror Picture Show) XD


	6. A Promise, Training, and Eating

Yay! Another chapter! Seriously though, this story's turning into a real bitch D: Trying to detail the plot, putting everything in order exactly how I want it, fitting the right characters in the right places at the right times...yarg. Then I ended up losing parts of it, and...yeah.

* * *

After Demyx finally calmed me down (thankfully no one else was there to witness my breakdown) he started walking with me out of the meeting room. I had no idea where he was taking me, but I was too tired to care.

"Do you want to go get something to eat? It's dinnertime, and I'm sure the rest of the Organization is already in the dining room."

"No thanks, Demyx. I just want to collapse," I said, exhaustion clearly shown in my voice.

"I can show you your room if you want."

That perked me up a little. "I get my own room?"

He laughed. "Of course you do, silly. How do you think the rest of us avoid killing each other on a daily basis?"

"I suppose that makes sense," I said with a worn smile.

He led me to another section of the vast castle I'd never seen before - the private quarters. He took me down the hall and showed me where the senior members and Number VII slept.

Xemnas had the first room, of course. _It's good to know where you sleep at night._

Next to Xemnas' room were doors with the roman numerals II and III. Across the hall were doors IV and V, and further down the hall were doors VI and VII.

"This hall is entirely occupied, so we neophytes get the floor above this one. Come on, the stairs are this way."

We went up the stairs to find rooms VIII and IX. "This is Axel's room, and this is my room," he gestured. "Wanna see it?"

Before I could reply, he opened the door. The walls were blue and there was a fishtank in the corner. I couldn't even name the types of fish inside. Sheet music cluttered his desk, and there was more on the floor. There was some sort of electronic music box on a bookshelf, and piles of disks were stacked next to it. There was a door that led to the bathroom, and peeking inside I noticed that there was another door that led to Axel's room.

"It's nice," I said. "So, you like music?"

"I love music. And you know what, I don't care what those elders say about the concept of love, but what I have with music is just that. My music proves we have hearts, but the elders won't listen to me. I never get taken seriously around here. It's probably because of the happy, bubbly, stupid image they have of me. Just because I'm not all quiet and emo, and just because I'm not too good at fighting automatically means I'm an airhead. It really sucks. Then they start making fun of my somebody...Oh, sorry about that, I know you're too tired to listen to my rants..." he smiled and scratched the back of his head.

"Wait...you're saying we have hearts?" I said weakly. Then I remembered the last time I heard music. _Painting the Roses Red._ I shuddered at the memory.

"Dude, you ok? Come on, let's get you to your room. I'll tell you about the heart thing later, but you gotta promise me you won't tell anyone or else I'll get in trouble with the senior members."

"Ok, ok, I promise," I said, smiling faintly at the prospect of an interesting conversation for the future. He ushered me out of his room and led me to the door marked XI. I opened the door to find the basic bed, desk, chair, closet and white walls setup. Just like in Demyx's room, there was a door that led to a bathroom that I would be sharing with Luxord.

I took one look at the bed and decided it was comfortable enough for me to fall into. I wasn't entirely sure if that was the purpose of the bed, but it was good enough for me at that time.

"All right, Marluxia, you get a good night's sleep. You know where to find me if you need anything. And if I'm not in my room, I might be in the Hall of Empty Melodies. That room has great acoustic quality for composing. Or you could ask Axel where I am, he'd probably know."

"Thank you, Demyx, for everything. I really appreciate it after the hell I went through today."

"Hey, don't worry about it. I'll see you tomorrow," he said, ducking out of my room.

He closed the door and left me in peace. I kicked off my boots, left my coat and pants in a heap on the floor, and collapsed on the bed.

* * *

I awoke the next morning to pain in the pit of my stomach. It's a very strange thing to wake up to several different realizations at once. I didn't even open my eyes because I was trying to extinguish that flame of remembrance from the previous day. _I'm back in Wonderland. It was all just a horrible dream,_ I tried convincing myself. The first thing I noticed was that my gut hurt like hell. The second thing I noticed was that I had a gut, which meant I wasn't a rose anymore. Then I noticed that everything else hurt-my arms, my legs, my head..._Oh fuck. No more leaves, no more roots...it was all real._

I opened my eyes with hesitation and my suspicions were confirmed. I was back in that room Demyx took me to.

_Shit._

And that hole in my chest was still there.

My stomach made a horrible growling noise as I clutched it, trying to make it stop. I rolled out of the bed and stumbled through the bathroom. I banged on the door to Luxord's room. _Someone must have showed him his room by now._ The door opened to reveal a ragged-looking Luxord wearing only his Organization pants.

"Luv...I'd really appreciate it if you put some clothes on." With that he slammed the door in my face.

I looked down. _Oh yeah...guess I forgot._

I went back in my room and shook off the clothes I had left on the floor. They were wrinkled, but I didn't really care. I put them on and went back through the bathroom to Luxord's room.

This time he was a bit nicer. "That's better...Now, what can I do for you?"

"Luxord-" I started, but my stomach made that terrible, embarrasing noise again. It felt like the White Rabbit's pocketwatch was buzzing around in there. I just looked at him, clutching my stomach and hoping this wasn't some kind of medical emergency.

Luxord thought for a moment. "You didn't have dinner last night, did you?"

"Wait...Dinner?" I asked. I recalled that Demyx said something about it last night, and I was trying to remember what it meant...

"You must be hungry. I remember when that used to happen to the Queen. She would become very irritable." We both paused and remembered our late Queen.

_OFF WITH HIS HEAD!_

We both shuddered and Luxord put an unconscious hand to his throat. "Right, let's go to breakfast."

He led me downstairs to the dining room. The other Organization members were slowly filing in. Number III was placing hot, steaming trays on the table. The "Superior" was at the head of the table with a cup of brown liquid and a newspaper. Saix sat next to him, chewing on what smelled like burned pig. Lexaeus sat on the other side of Saix with a bowl of what looked like lumpy cream. Axel was at the other end of the table, stuffing round, flat bread things into his mouth. Demyx poured himself some orange liquid into a cup and motioned for the two of us to sit by them. I sat next to Demyx, and Luxord sat across the table from us.

"This is interesting...what are they doing?" I whispered to Demyx, hoping I wasn't unintentionally saying anything stupid.

Demyx gave me a confused look, like I was asking him how to breathe. "They're eating. You need to eat too."

_Oh yeah. I guess photosynthesis is out of the question._

He dished me some fried cube-things and some of the round bread things onto my plate. "Try some of these, Xaldin does a good job with them."

"Do they make you bigger or smaller?"

"...Wait, what?"

"Never mind," I said, noting that no one here was changing in size like Alice used to do. Upon further inspection, I noticed that the fried cubes were in fact potatoes. Or they used to be potatoes. _Oh sweet Mother Earth...they eat potatoes._ And looking at Demyx's drink, I realized it was once an orange. _Oh Gaia..._ I thought I would be sick. That was utterly disgusting.

"Can I have some of that burned pig instead?"

After I had some "bacon" and "sausage", Demyx asked if I wanted something to drink. After pouring me a cup of _OH MY GOD TEA?!_ my face turned green and I bolted out of there as quickly as possible.

* * *

After that little episode, I went in the bathroom for a cold bath. I found more of those Organization uniforms in my still unexplored closet. Shortly after, I heard a knock on my door.

"Number XI, you have fifteen minutes to meet the Superior and I in the training arena," said Number VII.

_Oh hell._ And to think I almost forgot about that.

After agreeing against my will, I closed the door and sprawled on my bed. Well, at least today I get a little rest.

About five minutes later I dragged myself off the bed and slowly made my way to the arena.

While I was walking, all of a sudden Xigbar popped out from the ceiling with a "BOO!"

I jumped and saw pink. Face flushing red, I realized it happened again-I was surrounded by petals.

I quickly picked up the petals and shoved them in my pockets, trying in vain to undo what happened while Xigbar cackled from his perch on the ceiling.

I ran in the direction of the arena, petals falling out of my pockets as I ran.

_Stupid Xigbar, stupid element, stupid Organization, stupid training, and stupid Xemnas._

When I got to the arena, the "Superior" and Number VII were already there.

"Good to see you, Number XI," said Xemnas.

"You too," I faked. _It would be really cool if you just died right now._

"No time to lose, let's get this started," said Xemnas as he looked to VII.

"Yes, Superior."

Number VII looked out the window at Kingdom Hearts. Then he looked at me with these intense, glowing yellow eyes...

_HOLY SON OF A SHIT-SUCKER!_

His hair grew wild and his fangs grew. He practically became an animal as he summoned his big, blue sword-thing.

_Xemnas, you idiot...You're really going to let this guy loose on me?! Is he still in control of himself?!_

I ducked and ran. I really didn't want those damn petals appearing again, but what could I do?

VII chased me around the arena, swinging his weapon as unintelligible noises came from his mouth.

"Eleven! Direct your petals at him!" shouted the so-called Superior.

I repressed the urge to scream "What the hell would that do?!" and focused on my power. There were too many distractions, such as the thrashing beast chasing me with a painful-looking sharp object and the "Superior" with his calculating eyes.

I finally forced the petals to come. I most certainly didn't want them to, but if it would get me out of here faster I would have done anything.

"Good job, Number XI!" The Superior shouted, even though the petals were as effective at stopping the monster as a piece of rice paper.

_Fuck you._

Just as the monster was about to catch me and probably kill me, he stopped. He returned to his normal state, and he smelled the air.

"Superior, I smell fire."

_A distraction? How convienient._

"Number XI, you must excuse us, we need to investigate the activities of a certain fire elemental," said Xemnas slowly.

And with that, they disappeared into clouds of darkness.

_Sweet._

* * *

I later found out that the fire elemental in question was Axel, though I can't say I was surprised. It turned out that he was trying to help train Luxord. Apparently those playing cards are flammable. Luxord seemed to take his flammable cards in stride, knowing full well he could summon a brand new deck at any time.

_So weapons can just be resummoned. There's some useful information._

At lunchtime, I met up with Luxord, Demyx and Axel. There was fish, and there was also something else being passed around in a bowl, though from my seat I couldn't tell what it was. My stomach churned, as if some sixth sense told me it would be bad. When it was finally passed to me I gave a short gasp at the contents.

Green salad. With tomatoes, cucumbers, carrots, the works.

_Oh dear, sweet Mother Earth._

"Oh yeah, Marluxia, I meant to ask, what happened to you this morning?" asked Demyx. "You ran out too fast for me to ask."

I pointed at the salad and made a weak noise. I hoped he'd understand.

Something clicked in his head. "Oh yeah...'cause it's your element."

I nodded slowly, as that explanation would suffice. _Don't you remember Demyx? I was a rose! Flowers eating other flowers is just..._ I was too embarrassed to say any more. Or I had the illusion of being embarrased. Whatever.

"Sorry man," he said, taking away the salad bowl.

"Can I have some fish instead?"

Demyx blushed red and robotically handed me the plate of fish. I couldn't help but notice that he had not a trace of fish on his plate.

After I started to eat, I just had to ask. "Hey, you don't want any fish?"

He blushed again and awkwardly ate more salad. That was all the poor guy could eat, since he apparently didn't like fish. And he didn't seem to want to eat the salad since I was right next to him.

Axel gave a laugh and said, "No, I think the day he eats fish will be the day Saix gets a sense of humor. Ain't gonna happen, right, fishboy?" he jeered at Demyx as VII shot him a dirty look.

"Wait, what?" I asked.

Demyx sighed. "I come from Atlantica. You don't eat fish in Atlantica. You just don't."

"Sorry, I don't think I'm familiar with that world."

"Well, let's just say that you're not the only one who had trouble walking when you first became a nobody."

I looked to Axel for explanation. "The guy was a merman, all right? So he doesn't eat fish."

"...Oh." Then it clicked: the pounding rain in Wonderland, his wobbly running, his room with the blue walls and the fishtank...

Demyx and I exchanged the most awkward glances I had ever encountered. There we were: he was eating salad, and I was eating fish. We slowly pushed away our plates in unison and walked in the direction of our rooms.

"We can scavenge the kitchen later when everyone's left. Usually we'd have to wait until Xaldin's out of sight, but he's on a mission today so we don't have to worry about him. Instead Saix did the cooking today, and as scary as he can be at times he's not as possessive of the kitchen as Xaldin."

"...Missions?"

"Oh, no one explained those to you? Yeah, if you'd stayed for breakfast you would've noticed Xigbar handing out mission slips. Today it was Xaldin, Vexen, Lexaeus, and Zexion. Vexen almost never gets missions unless the world is really cold or if he needs to do something scientific. I don't know what he's doing today."

After what Vexen said to me yesterday, he was one of the last nobodies I wanted to think about. _At least I don't have to deal with him today._

After Demyx played me some tunes on his sitar - he's very good, by the way - we went down and ransacked the kitchen.

"How did training go today with Xemnas and Saix?"

"Oooh, that bad, huh? Yeah, they can be kinda tough. Hey, me and Xigbar are gonna train Luxord some more later, want to come join us?"

"No thanks. I think I'm all trained out for the day," I lied. I didn't want to train with Luxord and have him outdo and embarrass me again. I really wanted to train in private so I could learn to control those blasted petals.

"Suit yourself," he said through a mouthful of cookies. Then he vanished in a swirl of watery darkness, leaving me alone in the kitchen with my thoughts.

* * *

That night after dinner, I found myself in the break room. Almost everyone was back from their missions, so it was a time for us to chill out (and in my case, not worry about tomorrow's training.) Luxord, Demyx, Axel and I were playing pool. Rather, it was Axel and Demyx teaching Luxord and me how to play, since we'd never seen the game before.

"You know what I've been wondering? If our names are anagrams with an X, what's everyone else's real names?" I questioned.

"That's an interesting topic of conversation, Marluxia," said Axel as he shot a ball in a corner pocket.

"I mean, what about Xigbar? Who was he? Rabig?"

Demyx sputtered as he leaned on his pool stick. "Oh my god that sounds like rabid! He he...wait'll Xigbar hears that one!"

"And what about...the Superior?" I started hesitantly. I only called him that just in case he was around. You can't be too careful in a place like this.

"Xemnas?" Axel started blatantly. "You know, there's a funny thing about that," he started with a sly grin.

"This could get interesting," Luxord started as he made a nearly impossible shot with a stroke of luck. "Do tell."

Axel waved his hand in dismissal. "No, no, let's see if you guys can get it on your own."

"Let's see," I started. "Nasem, Semna, Mesan..."

"No, no," Axel laughed. "You gotta stick the X back in."

"...Seman?" For some reason this caused Demyx to miss the cue ball entirely as his mental processes seemed to shut down. They all turned to look at me, and after a second of eternal silence they started laughing more than nobodies should be able to.

"Oh my god! That is so wrong!"

"Dude, that is awesome!" cheered Axel as he slapped me on the back. "You know what, you're all right, man!"

I smiled. I didn't really get the joke, but you know...whatever. If it'll help me make friends around here.

* * *

I went to bed that night, quite tired but not as exhausted as the first night. I thought about training with Seman, and lunchtime, and Xigbar scaring the flowers out of me...all of which sucked.

But at the end of the day, I got to play pool with the guys, and I gave Xemnas a new nickname.

_Maybe this Organization won't be that much of a living hell_, I thought as I closed my eyes on Day 2.

* * *

Yarg, the training never ends!

The living arrangements at TCTNW was inspired by the epic author Xanrivash. She owns the idea about the shared bathrooms. I think it makes it more interesting :) Also, part of Demyx's character is inspired by her.

Here's a question for all you hard-core Org. fanfic addicts: Why does Xaldin cook? Seriously, he cooks in a lot of fics, and I'm trying to figure out why...so I don't own that either.

Oh, and I forgot something: in the last chapter I might've referred to them as Organization XIII when they should've been Organization XI. Sorry, guys.


	7. The Seeds of Doubt

Wow, it's been too long since I've posted last...but now that I'm back in college I have more spare time (sad but true). In case you're wondering, this story isn't nearly done yet... XD

Thanks to those that reviewed/faved/alerted! Also, a big thank you to sylverskyz for pre-reading this and telling me to post it ASAP :D

Right, 'enuff o' this gay banter...

* * *

"So, Demyx...you said you were going to explain something to me about hearts?" I mused, staring idly at his fishtank. It was right after breakfast, and he was getting ready to go on his newly assigned mission. But first, he had to jot down some freshly inspired music. I was hanging out in his room a little before he left, mentally preparing myself for - you guessed it - more training.

"Wait a minute...just two more bars...quarter, eighth, eighth, half...and end with a fermata on a whole note!" he said as he hastily scribbled more notes on his sheet music. "There, that's good for now...I can work out the kinks later. Marluxia, we will need to go somewhere safe for further discussion," he whispered darkly. "Hmm...I know of a pretty safe place in Dark City...but I can't go right now, and even if I could they'd get suspicious if we were away for too long...At midnight tonight, meet me outside Memory's Skyscraper. Don't let anyone see you."

Wow. That was a new side of Demyx I hadn't seen before - conniving and secretive. "Ok...this should get interesting."

"More than you can imagine," he said with fire in those watery eyes.

Curiosity bothered me all day. I couldn't get the mystery of what he had to say off my mind. Fortunately, that lifetime I'd spent as a rose came in handy, seeing that I'd learned much about patience during that time. If you expected someone to meet you, you couldn't exactly go visit them. You had to wait for them to come to you.

After the psychologically longest dinner I'd ever eaten (though all things considered that's not saying much, seeing that this was only my second dinner) I casually strolled off to my room and waited until midnight. I snuck out of my room, tiptoed through rarely used passages, made absolutely sure no one followed me, and left. I would've liked to use a dark corridor but I still didn't know how to use those yet.

It was dark and rainy, so I couldn't see much once I got outside. I pulled up my hood for protection from the rain. I saw a hooded figure coming around the corner.

"Are you ready, Marluxia?" I nodded, and he motioned for me to follow him down the street.

We walked in silence while listening to the rain pattering on our hoods. I think it bothered me more than it did him; then again, he's a water elemental, so rain shouldn't be a problem for him. We got to a door with a neon sign over it, and Demyx opened the door. Inside was bare nothingness. Just a floor. It reminded me of the fact that this world was supposed to be "nothing", although it seemed very real to me. Demyx opened a door in the far side of the room, which led us to some stairs going down to a basement. There was nothing down here, either. Demyx looked around to make sure we weren't followed, then he sat on the ground by the wall and I followed suite.

"Ok, Marluxia, this was your third day with the Organization, and there is something you need to know before it's too late. It may already be too late, for all I know. I need to share with you my theory on the whole 'no emotions' thing that the senior members insist on. You see, I don't think that's entirely true. Ok, sure, we don't have hearts, and we all have those times when those gaping holes in our chests are too much for us to handle, but I don't think we're completely without emotion. Think about it - motivation is an emotion, right? And Xemnas is sure as hell motivated to complete Kingdom Hearts. Therefore, even he feels emotion on some level! And what about Saix? Could he even be able to go berserk without some trace of emotion, like rage? As for me, I know without a doubt that I couldn't compose at all without some aspect of emotion to base my compositions on. While we can't feel these emotions in their purest form, we at least have some trace of them. I'm sure you're already familiar with all of this, that you've heard that we act on memories of emotion from Xemnas. But what I have a problem with is the fact that the senior members want us to let go of the memories for some reason. It's like they want us to forget what it's like to have a heart. But we have to hold on to the memories to get us through! Otherwise, how will you really know when you've got your heart back when you don't remember what it's like in the first place? Why should we live all sad and emotionless when we can at least pretend to be happy? If we hang on to these memories, we remember that we really existed at one point and that'll give us more motivation to complete Kingdom Hearts and truly exist again! I don't know about you, but I know I still feel traces of emotion! What do you think?"

I had to stop for a few minutes to let this all sink in. It was a little confusing, but it kind of made sense. "So, we need to hold onto our memories to keep us going until we get our hearts back?"

"Exactly! It's what keeps us attached to what humanity we have left! Well...maybe not "humanity," for those of us who weren't exactly human in our past lives...but you know what I mean!"

"Interesting...so how exactly can we do that?"

"Find what makes you feel like you have a heart and pursue it almost as much as Kingdom Hearts. For me, it's music. For Xigbar, it's the shooting range. For Lexaeus, it's when he figures out a puzzle. Zexion uses reading and blackmail, and Axel...well, he likes burning stuff."

What he was saying "intrigued" me, but I wasn't sure if I believed it. None of the other Organization members said anything about this. Maybe Demyx is just rambling. Then again, he could be onto something. "Have you said anything to the senior members?"

"Yeah. In fact, I bothered them so much about it that they're sick of it. They think I'm too uneducated, mal-adjusted as a nobody, and just plain stupid. And it's all because I hold onto my memories and feel as much as I can so I remember what it's like to have a heart. So what do you think?" he asked eagerly.

"I'm going to have to think about it. In a way, it seems like you're talking about discovering our 'heart substitutes' that we need to keep us going until we get our hearts back."

"'Heart substitues'. What an appropriate phrase for it."

"But...I gotta ask you something. Why are you telling me this? Why is this so secret for you?"

Demyx sighed. "Well, for starters, if the senior members heard me talking about it again I'd get in trouble. And...I was hoping that you'd back me up. You're new to the Organization, and you have yet to make a permanent impression on the senior members. I'm probably hoping too much, but I was thinking you could get close enough to them so that they'd at least take you seriously. Even if you don't agree with my ideas, I gotta tell you now - you definitely want to be on their good side. Maybe you'll even come up with your own theories to ask them. But I know for a fact that I'm the last nobody they'd listen to. I don't know...I guess it was a wild hope."

"Actually, this hasn't been a complete waste of time. I mean, I'm not sure what to think about it yet, but I'll keep it in mind," I mused, thinking about the goals of the Organization and how the senior members were trying to reach them. Perhaps they were using the wrong means to an end.

This would require a lot of thought.

* * *

I know there's some theories on nobodies out there that are more in-depth and easier to support than Demyx's. I haven't had any flaming yet for this story, but just in case...this is Demyx's idea that Marluxia is feeding off of, ok? I'm not trying to show my philosophy through Demyx. I love philosophy as much as anyone, maybe even more, but when witty banter turns to full-out bashing I gotta step out. And remember, it is just a video game. This isn't what I think, it's just something for Demyx to think to get this plot moving.

Sorry if I gotta be like that, I haven't had any problems so far...

Also, when Marluxia describes an emotion in quotes, that's what he would be feeling if he had a heart. He's getting tired of being politically accurate (and I'm getting tired of typing it all out) :D


	8. Initiation and The White Rosebush

Wow, this was fun to write! I'm kinda shocked with how long it is, but it keeps the plot moving.

Also, I don't own Ceiling Cat.

* * *

The next day, I rolled Demyx's ideas around in my mind and tried to make sense of them. I wasn't too concerned about it, but it was still something to think about. Perhaps Seman was keeping things from us?

_Maybe there really is something here, something important that I can't grasp just yet..._

I found myself wandering by the training arena to see how Luxord was doing with Xigbar and Axel. I had already finished training that day (still with no success, which completely "annoyed" me) and I wanted to see how far he'd come. After all, I was certain the other members would compare and judge us since we arrived at the same time. And I knew that he'd already progressed further than I had, but I wanted to know by how much.

I entered the arena and found Xigbar and Axel staring at the floor with looks that combined curiosity, wonder, and bewilderment. They were on the other end of the arena, so I couldn't see what they were looking at yet.

"Hi guys! How's training?" I asked with fake cheer. _Where's Luxord?_

"Ah, Marluxia, glad you're here, I'm in a bit of a pickle," said Luxord..._wait, Luxord?_

After I'd made my way to where Xigbar and Axel were looking at the ground, I found that Luxord had turned himself into a playing card and was laying flat on the floor. He didn't look the same as his somebody, instead it was like his nobody's image was painted on a life-size card. "Luxord...how did you do that?"

"I tried something new with my playing cards, that's all!"

"Whatever you did, try it backwards and see what happens." said Xigbar.

"'See what happens'? Xigbar, are you completely daft?! What if I screw it up even further?!"

"It's called experimentation, man! Science! Where do you think this Organization would be without it?"

"Um, you senior members wouldn't have lost your hearts in the first place?" jeered Axel.

"Dude...shut up, that's not helping!" said Xigbar with a threatening glare and turned back to Luxord. "Bite your lip, hope for the best, and try something new! Unless you want to remain like that for the rest of your non-existence..."

Luxord sighed and closed his eyes. We heard a yelp from Axel. Rather, we heard it from where he was standing. In his place was a large, six-sided die bouncing around helplessly.

Somehow, this caused Luxord to jump up to his feet. He was still a playing card, but he was able to move around. "Now this takes me back," he said with a laugh. He walked around a little in order to get used to his "new" form. It didn't take long because he remembered how to do it from his past life. Still, it wasn't the same as it used to be. His whole body was inside that card, rather than his hands, feet and head poking out like they used to. Suddenly forgetting about Axel, he got an idea. "Hey Marluxia, you get the flamingos, I'll get the hedgehogs, and we'll play croquet!" He said as he put his hands and feet on the ground to make an arch of his card-body to resemble the hoops.

"You know I never got to play croquet. I only watched as you guys fumbled around to help the Queen win. And if one of you screwed up, she'd chop your head off. I could hardly see the game anyway, because the other card soldiers were always standing in the way...it turned out they were trying to hide the fact that they planted the wrong roses until they could get their hands on some red paint."

"Oh, you're no fun," he started and was cut off by a large die crashing into him as if to say, "What about me?! Turn me back this instant or you shall suffer a fiery death!"

"Ok Xigbar, 'experimentation' was your idea, so if I screw up it's your fault." He closed his eyes and popped back into his regular form. He summoned his cards and threw the eight of hearts at Axel, turning him back.

"See, what'd I tell ya? Experimentation!" said Xigbar.

As we finished up and left the arena, I couldn't help but wonder...if Luxord was able to turn into a vague image of his somebody, could I do the same? Will I find my heart substitute?

* * *

That night, after Numbers III and VI returned from their mission, Xigbar made it a point to find Luxord and me. We were in the library with Number V, who was showing me a book about dirt which was surprisingly fascinating. While I was thinking about what kinds of plants would do best in all of these different types of dirt, Luxord was reading about something called "casinos". Whatever those are, I'm pretty sure there were none in Wonderland. VI was reading in a chair by the fireplace, obviously wanting to be alone after his mission with III.

"So, here you are," the sniper smiled at Luxord and me. "You know, I feel bad for you guys," he said with added sarcasm. "I forgot something terribly important, and it hurts me deep in my heart," he said as he placed a hand on his chest for dramatic effect.

VI looked up from his book, knowing what was to come. "Number II, don't. It'll only end up in an explosive disaster."

"Hey, it's not an 'explosive disaster', it's a learning experience! Just ask Vexen!"

VI sighed, knowing this argument wasn't worth his time. "Just bring them back in one piece," he said and returned to his book.

Xigbar smiled and looked at us with devious intent. "You two still need to be properly initiated, and there's only one good place to do that." He opened a portal for us to go through. Luxord and I exchanged hesitant looks, and Xigbar whipped out his gun. "You guys are gonna get initiated whether you like it or not. So you can walk through that portal or you can dance through it, your choice."

Needless to say, Luxord and I were tripping over each other to get there first.

Once on the other side, we found ourselves in a new world. It was rather dark and we were in a back alley with two other cloaked figures. "Geez, Xigbar, it took you long enough," said Axel as he took off his hood. The other man took off his hood to reveal himself as Number III. "This is gonna be good - two neophytes in one shot," the lancer smiled.

We entered the street and I quickly took in the surroundings. It seemed to be an older world by the sea. However, it seemed that we were in the wrong part of town. Drunk pirates came staggering out of the woodwork and made pure idiots of themselves. Women in long dresses and lace held on tightly to their men for fear of what might happen if they were left alone with the filthy drunks that leered at them.

Before I could scope out the town further, Xigbar took us into the place where the drunks seemed to be coming from. There were a bunch of them sitting on high stools on one side of a long table, and the single man on the other side was pouring them drinks. Upon our entry, they all got quiet and stared at us like they were terrified yet unable to move. Xigbar casually sat us down at the end of what he called the "bar."

"So guys, ever been drinkin'?" asked Xigbar.

Luxord and I looked at each other in slight confusion. "No, I don't believe we have," said Luxord.

"Well, then, this is gonna be good." he smiled. "Bartender! Pour something strong for my friends! It's their first night drinkin' and I want it to be a night to remember! Or not remember, depending on what happens..."

The "bartender" shakily poured what he called the "special" into very small glasses for Luxord and me.

"Xigbar...what's up with these people?" I asked, surveying the lot of scared drunks who were still staring at us like we were about to kill them.

The shooter laughed and cracked an evil grin. "Well, let's just say that this isn't our first time at this particular bar. And the first few bartenders at this joint were pourin' our drinks through their bullet holes after they tried to kick us out 'cause they found out we didn't have hearts. Fuckin' racists. They should've figured out that if we don't have hearts, we don't have consciences, and therefore wouldn't give a shit over who we killed. Not - so - long story short, we get free drinks here from now on! So take advantage of it and get hammered!"

"Okay..." I said slowly as I inched away from the serial killer.

"Come on, guys! Drink up!" cheered Axel.

Luxord and I sniffed our drinks. Whatever it was, it was strong and probably tasted worse than it smelled.

"Dudes, it's not there for you to smell. Chug it down fast before you can taste it. Trust me, you don't want to taste it or it might come back up," warned Xigbar.

Luxord and I exchanged worried looks and eyed our drinks carefully. _This initiation's gonna suck._

"Drink it. Now," ordered III as he swished the contents of his glass.

"But Number III-" I started to protest before he cut me off.

"Oh please, here in Port Royal you can call me Xaldin. Now chug it down before you can think about it."

Luxord shot it down in one gulp. His face turned green for a second before turning pinker than normal. "Hey, this is good! Get me another one!" he said as he slammed his glass on the table.

_In that case, it must not be that bad, _I thought as I tasted a drop of it. No, on second thought it was horrible. _What the hell is Luxord thinking?_

"Marluxia, it's not supposed to taste good. It's supposed to get you fucking wasted!" laughed Axel after he emptied his glass. "Now chug it before I set your pretty, pink hair on fire."

I closed my eyes and poured the hot, burning liquid down my throat. I shuddered and felt queasy. I laid my head down on the bar and hoped that my head would stop swimming.

"Yeah, Mar!" grinned a vacant Luxord after finishing his fourth special and moving on to something called "rum". He was weaving on his bar stool, and it was a wonder he didn't fall off.

"Dudes, this is fucking sweet! Looks like we got ourselves a new drinkin' buddy!" said Xigbar as he gave Luxord a friendly slap on the back.

"Gents...How in all the worlds did I ever live without this drink?" slurred Luxord as the bartender poured him more rum.

"Ya didn't. This is one of the best parts of being in the Organization," said a slightly buzzed Axel.

Xaldin took my empty glass and got a refill, setting it back in front of me. "Don't worry, Marluxia, the first one's the worst. The taste gets duller after a while. Take it from me, drinkin' helps fill up that empty hole in your chest."

I lifted my head up from the table and gave him a worn look. _Is that his heart substitute? _"Well, in that case..." I said as I poured it down in one gulp. It was even hotter than last time, and it felt like it would eat an acidic trail out of my body, but I lost the ability to care.

After a few more drinks, I felt absolutely sick. Luxord was having a grand ol' time, singing newly learned drinking songs with Xigbar. Axel and Xaldin were giving me every drink they could think of to see which one was right for me. Luxord, in his drunkenness, suggested that my drink of choice would be Miracle Gro. Axel and Xaldin didn't even know what that was, and they most certainly didn't have any at the bar, so I couldn't have any even if I wanted to. I didn't like any of the drinks offered to me, and it felt like my whole body would fall right through my bar stool down to the ground where I'd watch the world collapse around me. Oh, right, that actually happened. Xaldin and Axel smirked down at me and said something about "holding liquor." Right before I slipped out of consciousness, I was vaguely sure that their heart substitutes involved drinking, but those thoughts vanished with me as I descended into oblivion forever.

Ok, so I didn't vanish into oblivion forever. But it seemed like it when I regained consciousness. _Forever is not long enough,_ I thought as I sheilded my eyes from the bright light of the morning sun.

_Ow._

_Oh. My. Sweet Earth. And they didn't think to warn me about this? _I squeezed my eyes shut and rolled over onto my stomach to block out every trace of light. My face was met with a smelly, acidic, sticky substance. I didn't know what it was, nor did I care as long as that damned sun was away.

"RISE AND SHINE, PRINCESS!" yelled Xigbar as he shot a bullet into the ceiling to wake me up.

BAM! The damned sniper may as well have shot me in the head. _Getting shot would probably feel better than this,_ I thought as I pressed my hands over my ears. Xigbar grabbed me by the arm and forced me to my feet. The contents of my stomach didn't agree with swift motion and forced its way back out of my mouth, covering Xigbar in the process.

"Dude...you gotta learn to drink right," frowned Xigbar. He wasn't too mad though, and I guessed it wasn't the first time he'd gotten puked on after a night of drinking. His eye patch was missing, and..._holy shit,_ that bloodshot, pulsating, blue eye with a disgusting film over it was almost nasty enough for me to empty what little was left in my stomach. _His eyes aren't even looking in the same direction. _I wiped my mouth on my sleeve when I noticed my uniform was in worse shape than Xigbar's. It was torn and parts of it looked burnt. One of my gloves was missing, and the other was missing a fingertip. Looking around, I saw that we were still in Port Royal. We were in some abandoned building with cracks in the walls and a dangerously slanted roof that looked like it would collapse under a whisper of wind. Most of the walls were covered in black soot, and it looked like it just barely survived a fire. The few pieces of furniture in the room were falling apart and covered in soot. There was the telltale purple bullet in the ceiling which obviously came from Xigbar's courteous wake-up call. Axel was in an old rocking chair with his hands on his ears and his eyes clamped shut, obviously still reeling from the gunshot. Well, he clamped his one eye shut, but the other was black and swollen so much he couldn't open it if he wanted to. He found Xigbar's eye patch wrapped around his foot, so he took advantage of it by wearing it over his black eye. His uniform wasn't covered in puke, but it was ripped and torn like he'd gotten into a fight. His was the only uniform that didn't look like it had been put through a fire, but I'm guessing his uniform is specially tailored to be fireproof. Xaldin and Luxord were sitting by the wall, cursing Xigbar and his gun. For some reason, everything Luxord said and did was slowed down, like time was moving slow for him. He asked why we were talking too fast, and Xigbar thought Luxord's hangover affected his control over his element. Either way, he was still moving slowly. Luxord's stomach soon disagreed with him, and orange vomit soon covered his tattered uniform. Xaldin gave Luxord a quizzical look after he watched him puke.

"Luxord...Don't tell me you ate one of my dreads. I might have to stab you." Sure enough, there was a foot long black dread lock in the fresh pool of puke. Luxord looked at it, then back at Xaldin as the lancer ran his hand through his vomit-caked hair, trying to locate which dread lock went missing.

"Hey," Luxord defended slowly, "It was not my idea to go drinkin'. Besides, I have no idea what happened after that bar fight."

_What bar fight? I don't remember that..._

"Heh, I remember what happened. Xigbar was drunk as shit and was running all over the ceiling, trying to hunt down...God, what did you call it again? Ceiling Cat?" laughed Axel.

"Wait, what? I don't remember that," said Xigbar as he looked at the ground with a hint of what would be embarrassment.

"Yeah, you did," said Xaldin. "You got all paranoid that 'Ceiling Cat is watching you!'" he said, giving a rare laugh. "You wanted me to go up there with you so we could impale its head on one of my lances!"

As curious as I was about this "Ceiling Cat", my thoughts were soon interrupted as an angry mob burst through the door with torches and pitchforks in hand. Xigbar had us through the dark corridor before we could even think.

My eyes welcomed the natural darkness of The World that Never Was. Xigbar had portaled us to the rec room and instructed us to clean ourselves up or else Superior would throw a fit. Rather, he'd throw a fit over Xigbar, because it was his idea to "initiate" us. Xigbar pulled up his hood and covered his eye. He muttered something about "not being in any mood to deal with Saix" as he held onto Xaldin, both of them clinging to each other unsteadily as they weaved to their rooms.

Luxord, Axel and I staggered off in the general direction of the neophytes' floor. "Gentlemen...we gotta do that again," smiled Luxord (still slowly) as we fumbled through the hallways, none of us possessing the energy to simply portal to our rooms. Then again, I didn't even know how to open a dark corridor yet.

"Luxord...Are you freakin' nuts? Don't tell me you're not in pure agony right now," I said.

"Oh, I am, but last night was completely worth it. Axel, what was that glorious place called again?"

"Port Royal. Got it memorized?"

"Of course. I'll have it memorized for the next time we all go again."

"Freakin' sweet," smiled Axel.

"Aw, hell naw, there's not gonna be a next time for me, I'm never touching alcohol again!" I protested.

"Don't complain to me if you can't hold your liquor," jeered Axel.

We crawled up the stairs to our rooms and met a rather angry, worried Demyx.

"What the hell, guys?! You all went out drinkin' and left me here all by myself?! What the hell were you thinking?!"

"Demyx...a little quieter, please," whispered Axel.

"Axel...is that Xigbar's eye patch?!"

"It sure is. And trust me, I need it more than Xigbar does at the moment. Now get outta my way, I need Aspirin, a shower, and sleep."

Demyx was speechless as Axel opened his door and slammed it shut behind him.

Luxord and I cringed at the loud noise.

"Guys...you look and smell like shit. What happened?" asked Demyx.

"Xigbar called it 'initiation'." I call it 'painful and I'm never doing it again'. I'm taking a bath and goin' to sleep," I mumbled. I got to my room, peeled off what was left of my rank uniform, and went for the bathroom. I filled the tub with warm suds and sank in. Just before I was about to fall asleep, Luxord slowly opened the bathroom door, still fully clad in his filthy uniform. It took a minute for him to notice me, but he didn't seem to care. I eyed him carefully as he got in the tub with me, still fully dressed.

"That's a little close for comfort," I casually mentioned.

He slowly turned his head to me, as if he already forgot I was there and it was just registering with him again. "You smell like sweaty flowers," he said deeply and slowly.

"Yeah, and you smell like rum and vomit." I saw something sparkle out of the corner of my eye and turned my head. "Luxord...what happened to your ear?"

He asked me to stop talking so fast, then he slowly touched his ear and his fingers brushed over something white and glittery. He got out of the tub and looked in the mirror, soaking the floor in the process. "Looks like I got an earring. Hey, that actually looks good on me," he mused. While he was examining his new piercing, I quickly scrubbed the evidence of last night off of me and went back in my room before Luxord could even register that I left. I didn't even put on a new uniform, I just slid under my covers and went to sleep.

* * *

I woke up sometime that night - apparently I'd slept all day and no one saw fit to bother me. Then again, maybe everyone thought I should rest after that stupid initiation. _I wonder if Xigbar got in trouble. _My mind started wandering as I laid in bed. _What would happen if Xigbar got in trouble? Would he still train Luxord and me? Damn it, I'm going to have to train again tomorrow. With probably the same results as I've been getting. This is really becoming a problem._

_Ok, so my element is "flowers." I can't change that, so I need to learn to use it to it's fullest potential. But how am I supposed to do that in a world where there's no sun? Not to mention that there's no soil in the castle. What about outside the castle? Is there dirt out there, and if so, how is the quality? Come to think of it, I didn't really get to see what it was like that night with Demyx..._

Curiosity soon led me outside the castle. It was raining slightly, and I saw Kingdom Hearts shining in the sky. Unfortunately that was the only thing in the sky, and it wasn't nearly bright enough to support plant life. Come to think of it, there's not a single plant in The World that Never Was. I found this horribly "depressing", if I could be allowed to use the term.

Damn it...without plants or a decent sun, how am I supposed to work on my powers? _What is the dirt like?_

I ducked behind some boxes near what I found to be Memory Skyscraper. I studied the ground a bit and found an area that wasn't paved. Taking a few deep, calming breaths, I concentrated on the ground and on myself. Those notorious petals came, and this time I didn't mind. In fact, I wanted them to come so I could learn to control them. But that wasn't what I was focused on at the present moment. Instead, I willed any kind of plant out of the ground. A strange type of energy flowed through me, and my eyes bugged out at this strange sensation. I actually felt. Either that, or it was a very good substitute. These thoughts quickly became irrelevant when the ground pushed forth a small, fragile, white rosebush.

_Holy Shit! I did it! I really did it!_ I "felt" my non-existent heart racing with what would have been fulfillment! I couldn't believe it! I created this! I had to pot it and help it grow!

"Hi there," I said.

"Hi," she whispered back. "What's your name?"

"Marluxia, what's yours?" I asked in excitement.

She whispered something, but I couldn't discern what it was. Then I realized she was dying. The fact that she had grown so abnormally quickly resulted in an intense need for her to eat. The dirt held meager nutritional value, and the fact that there was no sun only made it worse. Then I saw her wilting and crumbling in my hands.

"No! Don't go! Not yet! No!" And then she died. I sat there for an indefinite amount of time staring at this dead rosebush in my hands, my eyes wide with what would have been shock, horror, and the simple amazement that I'd been able to summon her in the first place.

This led to several realizations. First of all, I found my heart substitute. Granted, these "feelings" I had weren't as real as they would have been if I had a heart, but it's enough to ease that hole in my chest and keep me surviving. Second, I need to practice plant summoning more often. Perhaps on a world more suited for plant life. However, all of these thoughts were pushed to the back of my mind by more pressing matters. Matters relating to Xemnas. _If I could create something like that, even for a moment, then we must exist on some level. Roses have hearts; this was proven when I became a nobody. And if I created a rosebush that had a heart, then by Xemnas' logic nothing created something. By mathematical and scientific laws, it's impossible for something to come from nothing. Not even Vexen could argue with that._

_Demyx was right. We do have heart substitutes._

Which means Xemnas neglected to tell us this for some reason. With all of his research, he had to have known! If he didn't, how could Demyx have figured it out, seeing that he's a newer Organization member and isn't familiar in the ways of science (no offense intended)? Could Xemnas have lied to his own Organization? Talking to him about it was out of the question; if he lied about something as important as this, surely he can't be trusted! Then again, maybe he never lied in the first place...maybe it's some misunderstanding on my part. Either way, if I talked to him about it, he might get suspicious; I really want to stay on his good side, just like I want to be on good terms with the rest of the senior members. In any case, we need these heart substitutes to keep us motivated to find our real hearts. In addition, if we don't cling to these heart substitutes, it might be impossible for us to feel emotion even when we get our hearts back. We'd all be so emotionally crippled we might not even be able to psychologically function! If we continue down that path, we'd be better off as nobodies!

And then it hit me.

_Xemnas must go._

* * *

If you're wondering about the story behind Xigbar's eye, check out my story "Evil Eye".

I'm not sure if that last part was confusing. Let me know if it is, ok?


	9. A Belladonna named Rouduin

Holy crap! I'm alive! And I haven't updated since September?! (In the words of JenxthexJinx on YouTube, "A whole three months!" Seriously, go check her out, she does hysterical Org. cosplay known as "Demyx Time." Marluxia is extremely OOC but in a funny way.)

Well, I really wanted to finish this story and there's a lot more of it to tell, so hopefully I can update more frequently (even though you've already heard this before, sorry guys). Special thanks go to sailor winx for reminding me to update!

* * *

Previously on Marluxia's Beginning:

Marluxia and Luxord get initiated at Port Royal courtesy of Xigbar, Xaldin, and Axel. Marluxia goes out to Memory's Skyscraper and grows a white rose which dies almost immediately, and then he realizes that Xemnas must go. Xemnas and the other seniors don't like to pretend they have hearts, but Marluxia knows that they need to pretend so they can remember what it was like to feel so they're not emotionally crippled when they get their hearts back. This is just one of the many reasons why Xemnas must go.

Whew. Did you all get that? I kinda think this story's getting complicated and easy to lost in, especially when the authoress doesn't update regularly and then we all forget what happened (cough).

*Insert Monty Python saying "GET ON WITH IT!!"*

* * *

I sat there for a short while, watching this flower disintegrate into the nothingness from whence it came. It didn't just die, it just...faded. Like it never existed in the first place. I tried it again. I brought forth the same energy from before. This time, I was able to recognize the energy as darkness residing in the hole where my heart once was. During the first time, I guess I was too caught up in the moment to realize what exactly I was doing. I vaguely remember feeling the darkness course through me as I summoned the other rosebush, but I was thinking too much of Xemnas and the Organization to notice.

_This is darkness, and if I want to survive I need to use it._

And as last time, I "felt." Yes, it was a form of slightly acidic darkness, but for some reason that didn't bother me. In fact, I think I liked it.

_I think I could get used to the darkness. It definitely would've bothered Lumaria._

This time the plant was belladonna. _Maybe after a while I can control what exactly I learn to summon._

This time, the plant was actually staying alive for a little. "Hi, I'm Marluxia. What is your name and how are you feeling?"

"My name is Rouduin, and if I don't see light soon I will die."

"Vexen has bright lights in the lab. I can put you there."

I noticed that he was starting to fade already, though not as quickly as the white rose. This gave me a little more time. I dug around the roots, trying to leave on as much dirt as possible. If I had a heart, it would be pounding erratically. I wasn't quite sure what I was doing. It was like I was watching while my body dug up this belladonna.

Using the same darkness I'd just learned to use, I summoned my first dark corridor. Again, I didn't know what I was doing - my body was acting of it's own accord. I found that it led to several feet above ground in the dungeon. I hit the ground with a huff and made sure Rouduin was all right.

_Just a little further - the lab is close. Hang in there! Please don't go!_

The dirt was falling off the roots and staining my coat as I ran to the lab. I kicked open the door and saw Numbers IV and V cleaning up after an experiment. They only had on a few lights. They froze and looked at me like I was holding a bomb.

"Turn on the lights! I need light!" I screamed desperately.

"Number XI, just what do you think you're doing?!" snapped Number IV. Meanwhile, Rouduin was ready to die.

Lexaeus knew exactly what was going on. He snapped on the lights, at which point Rouduin sucked up as much light as he could. I could feel the new energy pulsating through him as he sat in my dirt-stained hands. Then, Lexaeus quickly summoned a good sized rock and picked it up like it was tissue paper. He molded it into a flowerpot with drainage holes and a lip at the bottom to catch the excess water.

Lexaeus and I didn't say a word; we just worked together and knew exactly what we were doing, though I have no idea how. Maybe it was through our connection with the Earth. Number IV just looked on like he was missing the punch line of a joke. I quickly but carefully placed Rouduin in the new flowerpot as Lexaeus filled dirt around it. He used good quality dirt, much better than that at Memory's Skyscraper. I grabbed one of the hoses and watered Rouduin. He visibly regained strength.

_I get it now. The Silent Hero._

"Thank you..." Rouduin whispered.

"Shh...Don't speak. Just save your strength and get better, ok?" I said. This was the point where Numbers IV and V looked at me as if it was strange to speak with a plant.

"What?" I asked awkwardly. "...am I in trouble?"

"Did you just...talk to that plant?" asked IV.

"Um...yeah," I said slowly with a twinge of apprehension. "What's so wierd about that? Jeez, it's like you've never heard a plant talk before..."

"..."

"Wait...am I missing something?" I asked.

"Number XI...Are you saying that you can communicate with plants?" asked IV with slight interest.

I just stared at him like he'd said that he had a heart. "Um...yeah...so...?"

They just looked at each other with renewed interest. "I didn't know that to be possible," IV said as he cleaned his goggles on his lab coat.

"XI...are you serious?" asked V.

I looked at them like...like...I don't even know how to describe it! How is it possible that they've never had a conversation with a plant before? I couldn't find any reason for this, unless they came from a world similar to this where there were no plants to have discussion with.

"Yes, Number V," I said after a moment. "How...why...what? You mean to tell me you've never, ever talked with a plant before?" I asked as I was trying to wrap my head around the subject.

"No, actually, I haven't. And I never knew anyone who could."

"Did you both come from worlds where there were no plants at all? Is that why-"

"No, Number XI," IV cut me off. "We've both worked with plants on many occasions. In fact, our somebodies come from Radiant Garden which was filled with lush greenery in it's prime. We've never heard a plant talk before."

"So...you mean to tell me that you've lived with plants all your lives...and they never said anything to you? Maybe they had some reason not to..."

"Number XI, the point we're trying to make here is that you're the only one we've ever heard of that could talk to plants. I'm assuming the reason for that is because of your...affinity with plants," Number IV said. V nodded in agreement.

"Wait...what?" This was almost as hard to handle as the time Seman told me I'd lost my heart. "How is that possible? Is everyone else deaf? I mean, everyone could do it back in Wonderland! In fact, I'll get Luxord! He'll back me up!" I made my way to the door when IV stopped me. "Wait, XI," he said with a sly grin. "This could make for an interesting experiement. Go say something to that plant," he said, pointing at Rouduin. I looked at the belladonna as he was taking in the light. He was visibly better, though he was still a little wilted. Honestly, I wanted to experiment as well to find out why no one else could hear him. That is, as long as he didn't get hurt. I walked over to him.

"Rouduin, how are you feeling?"

"Much better," he said. "But Marluxia, why can't they hear me?"

"That's what I'm trying to figure out. I'm just glad that you're going to be ok."

"Tell the big one that I said thank you."

"It has a name?" asked IV as he scribbled notes on his clip board.

I looked at him with a hint of "annoyance." "Not 'it'. 'He'. Rouduin is a 'he'. And Number V, Rouduin says thank you."

"How can you tell it's a 'he'?" asked IV.

"He has a masculine voice."

"Mhmmm..." said IV as he scribbled down more notes. "So, you know other people who can do this?"

"Yes. Everyone in Wonderland could, but I don't think there were any survivors. Luxord - er, Dulor - could."

"Well...Wonderland is one of those worlds that makes no sense. It's a world that defies all logic," IV said coldly.

"What?! Are you kidding?! This is the world that makes no sense! At least I knew what to expect back there!"

"Ok, guys," Number V said. "Break it up. Let's see if Number X can do it too."

"Hmmm, I was just thinking that," IV mused as he disappeared into icy darkness.

Number V and I stood there for a silent moment. "Number XI, where did you get him?" he asked, pointing at Rouduin.

"I summoned him. I couldn't believe it when I did."

"Really...you were able to simply summon him from the ground?"

"Yep. I was outside by Memory's Skyscraper. Unfortunately there's no decent dirt around here, nor sunlight. I need both. How am I supposed to do this more often and practice?"

"Good question. I'm afraid this raises a new list of problems."

Number IV returned with a tired, sore Luxord. At least time was running normally for him now.

"You wankers owe me a game of cards in the morning."

XXXXXXXXXXX

It was morning by the time the experiment was over. Well, whatever passes for morning here in The World that Never Was. Numbers IV and V were surprisingly awake enough to repay Luxord via card game, but Luxord and I were too tired so the game was delayed. Xigbar told us that Seman allowed us to rest anyway due to experimenting with Vexen all night. I was surprised by this, but Xigbar said that it was no secret that working with Number IV was exhausting.

As for the results of the experiment, well...I couldn't believe it. Luxord was unable to hear Rouduin, and he was as shocked as I was. We could only conclude that it was only the plants from Wonderland who could speak with everyone, and I was the only one able to communicate outside of Wonderland.

I couldn't take Rouduin to my room because it was too dark there. Number IV allowed me to keep him in the lab temporarily, but I think he only did that because he had scientific interest in my latest creation. However, he knew not to do anything stupid to Rouduin or else the plant would tell me about it.

I need a place to keep him permanently. I need a place to work on my powers. This dark world just isn't suitable for beings that require light.

However, this gave me an idea. If it just so happens that Number IV's lab is the only place where I can keep plants, then I have good reason to go down there on a daily basis without having a certain Academic snapping at me. Also, if Numbers V and VI are down there frequently as well, then I can talk to them and get more information to help me with my Seman-related problem. Of course, I can't just come right out with it, I need to ask questions subtly and over time so they don't get suspicious.

All in good time. I have all the patience in the world.

* * *

Vexen is being ethnocentric about Wonderland. In other words, he thinks his culture is better than that of Wonderland. I just had to put that in there because I'm currently studying anthropology.

Atropa belladonna, aka Deadly Nightshade, is a very poisonous but very beautiful plant. It was (and still is) used in witches potions, though today witches might substitute it for something less poisonous. The reason I picked this one was because it's beautiful but deadly (kind of like a certain graceful assassin).

When Marluxia says a type of emotion in quotes, he's saying that's how he'd feel if he had a heart. He's getting to the point where this nobody business with no emotions is too complex. (me too)

Please let me know if you like it, and constructive criticism is greatly appreciated ;)


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